FORGIVENESS

Dictionary:

The act of excusing a mistake or offense;
a pardon by treating the offender as if the offense had not occurred;
the act of freeing from guilt or blame.

Biblical:

Ephesians 1:7

In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

Acts 13:38-39

Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins:

And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses.

Acts 26:18

To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.


Two Sides:

One side is seeking forgiveness for an offense and the other side is forgiving the offender.

Seeking Forgiveness:

Forgiveness seems to be one of those things that is hard to perceive, as it is not as straight forward as saying "I am sorry" and then thinking life is rosy and all is back to normal.

It goes much deeper than that, and it involves not just the mental thought of saying "sorry" but also the contrite heart in accepting and acknowledging that a wrong has occurred, and with a willing spirit to repent for the actions that were performed.

It is learning from the error of our ways and changing how we should conduct our behaviour in the future and not keep repeating the same mistake over and over again, as that is when the person doing the forgiving can find it hard to do so after awhile, and sometimes the end result can be broken friendships and lost loved ones.

It is going within and taking an open minded and honest look at ourselves, our behaviour, our actions, our words, our deeds and our foolishness, and seeing it in God's light and in all it's truths, with no excuses, no blame and no mud slinging, just pure acceptance, that this is our error and we are responsible for our own actions.

No one can make us say or do anything against our Will, so therefore it was our responsibility to act in a rational and acceptable way in the first place, so it is being completely honest with ourselves, to ourselves, in the eyes of God.

Then, once you reach this point, you accept that you may receive forgiveness or you may not from the person that you offended and that is out of your control and your hands, but it is the end result of your own actions.

It definitely does hurt when we are not forgiven or given another chance, but at the end of the day, we have accepted our part in how the whole situation transpired in the first place.

There are times when people don't forgive straight up, but that can also depend on how badly we behaved, and maybe they need to be shown respect and patience by giving them space to calm down and get over the interaction, as don't forget, as much as we hurt ourselves with our own actions, imagine the hurt that we inflicted on them, and as much as we need to heal, so do they.

Then after awhile, you never know, they could all of a sudden out of the blue forgive and everything is loving and friendly again, but at the end of the day, it is up to them how they react, we have no say or control, as if we didn't create the chaos in the first place, we wouldn't have to be facing the fact that we may have reaped what we sowed.

The worst thing that we can do is feel hurt that they won't forgive, which is due to our own foolishness in the first place, and then start the mud slinging, the blame, etc. and retaliate because our feelings are hurt that they won't forgive, which is not going to resolve anything but put an end to any possibility of reconciliation in the future.

So whether someone forgives us or not, we should always send them love and blessings and pray for them on their journey, as it was our actions that caused the unresolved issues, and that we should never forget or seek any payback, as we got paid for our actions, and acceptance is part of the repentance.

This is where we need to accept the outcome, good or bad, forgive ourselves and give ourselves time to heal and move on, and do not offend that way again in the future, as we should have learnt our lesson.

Forgiving Others:

We all know how hard it is from a humble heart to reach out to someone and seek forgiveness, it is a hard thing to do and takes a mighty soul to do that, and I am not talking about saying "sorry" but truly seeking forgiveness, so we all know how it hurts for someone not to accept that.
Because of a foolish mistake you weren't seen as worthy of giving another chance which can leave us feeling condemned, unworthy, sinful and broken, and we have all faced that at one time or another in our lives.

So when someone is seeking forgiveness, we should "do unto others as we would have done to ourselves".

We all want to be forgiven for being human and making mistakes, so we should learn to forgive.

Forgiving someone doesn't come from the head where we may or may not forgive or judge if that person is worth our forgiveness and deciding their fate, it is having a loving and compassionate heart and accepting that we are all human, and we all deserve second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. etc. chances, so if we can't forgive someone, then we really need to do some inner searching.

We need to go within and look for what attitude is it that we are holding onto that stops us from going to our heart and finding love and compassion?

We need to ask are we pure and blameless in our own lives that we can judge others to be better or worse?

We need to search is there some kind of past influence keeping us from forgiving, is our own behaviour completely blameless in the whole situation?

We need to wake up and see that as long as we hold onto our self-righteousness we are showing how ungodly we truly are, and how much more we need to learn on our path.

What reward is it that we are getting by not forgiving, do we feel holy and highly that we have the power to condemn someone?

Do we feel good watching someone suffer and feel hurt and broken that we don't forgive them, because seriously if this is the case, we really need to seek forgiveness and repent ourselves?

Then the next time that someone decides not to forgive us we will feel hurt and broken, we need to look back in our own life, and look at all the people that we did that very same thing to, because right at that point, we are seeing what we have done to others.

If you are finding it hard to forgive, be honest and open and say to that person "I need time and space to sort through a few issues that I am having, and time to calm down."

But don't condemn or crucify them, just explain how you feel by the situation and if they can't understand that, and start mud slinging, blaming, behaving badly again, etc. then maybe their seeking forgiveness wasn't genuine, but if they are honestly seeking forgiveness they will understand you need time to heal and recover.

There are always two sides to everything, and we need to look at both sides and be open, honest and loving towards each other.

Now, on top of this, the worst thing that you can do, is start involving people around you, they will give their opinions and tell you what to do based on their outlook on life, but maybe they don't have the full story, maybe they aren't coming from a Godly place, maybe they have hidden agenda's in advising you that way, then the Gossip starts, the condemnation grows and tiny wars start.

The only people that know the full truth is the two people that were involved, and not always what actually happened is conveyed to others in the light of truth, maybe by mistake, misunderstanding, hurt, lieing, whatever reason, not always is the truth told in the light of God, and this is when things get out of control and Good people get hurt for No Good reason and what started as a tiny matter has now become a major problem.

Reflection, prayer and seeking God and Jesus is always the wisest path, as it is through this that we can see the light and not dwell and get stuck in the dark.

But if you do need to seek guidance and counselling, go to someone who is experienced in these matters, a Priest, a Minister, a Counsellor that has credibility in resolving these kinds of issues, and someone that does not have any attachment to the outcome so therefore can advise from an outsider's point of view.

To be forgiven brings about a renewal of mind, heart and soul and a new lease of life, and to forgive brings about the same result.

We are not responsible for other people's behaviour but we are responsible for our own.

If someone doesn't want to forgive, that is not your responsibility but how you conduct yourself is.

Imagine what state this world would truly be in if Jesus didn't forgive us for what we did, he carried the burden on the cross for this sinful world, and yet still loves us, what better example of pure love can there be.

When do we start to carry our own burdens and take up our cross?

I love you all my beautiful friends, take care.

God Bless,
Gina
xxx